I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
