Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
