just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
