they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
