I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
