So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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