You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
