So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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