i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
