She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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