if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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