Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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