? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
