are you still at the devil's house?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize