If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
