i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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