i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
