I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
