She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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