Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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