So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
