god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
