ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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