I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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