so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
