fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize