Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
