Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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