i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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