haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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