dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
