Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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