Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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