i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
