And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
