He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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