You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Randomize
