We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
