i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
