No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize