great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
