i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
