: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
