Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize