Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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