oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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