Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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