your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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