She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
