I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
