Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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