Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
