They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
