grandma shit on top of the toilet
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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