I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
