drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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