on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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