I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
