After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize