watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want to make out with him forever
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
