I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
