Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize