I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
