is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
