Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
