I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
