My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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