I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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