Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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