Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
